Today was one of those days where my alarm rang and I turned it off while pulling the blankets over my head.
” I cant do this..” l mumbled as l forced myself again to sleep. This is my latest technique to try and escape the harsh reality of my world. Seeing l stay alone, l can stay in this state for as long as l wish and nothing nor anyone will shake me out of it. There´s no noises coming from the rest of the house as the family scurries about getting ready for the day, nor a roommate to irritate me as they go about their Morning rituals. Now that l think of it, it is definitely an unhealthy con that comes with living alone. Sometimes that human chaos forces us to put on a strong front and face the day. And once the wind hits your face, it’s not as bad, you pick yourself up and go on with the day, though gloomy and less productive you keep on moving.
Seeing l have no one to fake it to,when my blue days do come around l hit rock bottom. Like today, my curtains remained closed all day long and all day long l lay in an appalling morbid state trying to sleep. Way after mid-day l was still in bed, still with no energy to face life.
At this point, I sat up in bed and started going through my To-do list. Well l had missed a full day, but l decided to forgive myself and accept am not superwoman. Its ok not to be perfect. Realising l had an appointment with my friends in a few hours, I turned on to some retail therapy and got myself two super reads on amazon and l was halfway there. A nice long hot shower would do the rest. Need l say more, around five o’clock l walked out of the house, face beat,head held high and life continued. Before leaving the house, l snapped that picture from my window, and something about it stuck on my mind.
Not long ago l had looked out of that very same window and it was summer, and weird enough l never had such gloomy days in summer. Even on my most blue days, l would throw something skimpy on, hop on my bicycle and ride my blues away. I guess this my latest theatric has come about with the current season, and just like the current season it is not here to stay.
My life is like the seasons, not always warm and perfect but in a constant flux. Surprisingly enough, l love it in all its spins and continuously evolving patterns.